


Nothing to Lose

by TobiasFourEaton



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: (But you can probably guess it's nothing fun), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, M/M, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-12-19 23:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11908212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TobiasFourEaton/pseuds/TobiasFourEaton
Summary: In another life, different actions were taken before the fall of Project Freelancer. This is one of the many possibilities.





	Nothing to Lose

**Author's Note:**

> I've recently been trying to get back into writing and found that years ago i'd only ever posted this fic to Tumblr, so thought I might as well upload it here as well.
> 
> "Nothing to Lose" was originally wrote and set in churbooseanon’s [ "For Every Action, A Reaction" Canon Divergence AU](https://archiveofourown.org/series/108635) (which I wholeheartedly recommend), however it can easily be read standalone as a sort of 'what if?' fic.

 

The moment Wash had woken up in the white room he knew something was wrong.

Well there were a lot of things wrong, but specifically, there was something definitely wrong with his head. His thoughts. His memories. There were gaps that shouldn’t be there.

He could tell you that his designation was ‘Washington’ and that he was an Agent, but he could not tell you what all of this actually meant. He could tell you that he loved the colours tan and purple, but not why he loved them, because as far as he was aware yellow had been his favourite colour ever since he adopted a light ginger cat back on his home planet (which he could not tell you the name of).

His suspicions were only confirmed when he woke up one day to find a man calling himself ‘The Counsellor’ standing at the end of his bed. 

And from there things only got worse. There were hallucinations, even more people that he should probably know but didn’t, and a voice in his head saying they weren’t going to let him leave any time soon.

 

So when the alarm starts blaring one day and his guard runs out the room, he knows that this might be his only chance of escape.

Wash gets to work removing the pillow covers from the bed, undoing the stitching with a plastic fork that was lying nearby, and then he’s piling as much as he can into them, making a very crude club for him to use.

Knowing this is the closest thing he’ll get to a weapon, he crouches behind the door and when it slides open, he closes his eyes and swings, his hit being rewarded with a loud thud and a  _shit. What the fuck was that D?_  

Two armoured men stumble through the door ready to attack and all Wash can think is  _oh_ _shit_ because they are definitely not his guard.

When they see him however their attack stances drop, and before he can say anything they’re dragging him through the door, down a hallway and out into a something he recognises to be a docking bay. For what however, Wash isn’t sure. There’s a mix of both military and medical equipment strewn about, but no bodies; casualties of the obvious fire-fight must have occurred.

He doesn’t even consider what is going on until they’re on a pelican, letting the fatigue and tiredness wash over as the adrenaline wears off. He forces himself to stay awake because he needs answers, after all he’d rather know the truth than be naive. So he breaks the silence.

"As much as I appreciate this, who the hell are you and why are you helping me escape?"

 

* * *

 

To say ‘rescuing Wash had been hard’ would be a complete understatement. They had been through hell and back for him, but none of that mattered because they finally had Wash and there was nothing that would stop York from celebrating this win.

Well that is until Wash admits to not knowing who they are, where he was or why they were breaking him out. One little sentence is all it takes for everything to come crashing down around him.

York barely registers the sound of Delta telling him he’s hyperventilating. All he can do is stand there and let his mind go in circles, letting it try to comprehend where they went wrong.

"Miles… panic attack… need to calm down…"

He can feel North’s hands on his shoulders. 

"It’s okay… going to be fine… nothing we can’t…" 

 _Nothing we can’t what?_  York thinks.  _Nothing we can’t fix? Nothing we can’t deal with?_

He manages to force out a sob and then he’s falling. Darkness takes over his view and York thinks that oblivion has never felt so enticing.

 

* * *

 

North has always been an optimistic person, so it’s easy for him to say ‘with a little bit of time, things will be okay’.

Except there are some things time can’t fix. After all it’s hard to repair a relationship with someone who doesn’t even remember you.

 

York is the first to go. No note, no apology, no explanation. Not that an explanation is needed however, it’s clear from the way he drags himself out of bed in the morning that the world is eating him whole. His eyes no longer carry the spark they once did, instead all they show is the green tint of Delta, the only thing keeping him going. And so one morning York is simply gone.

 

It’s only a few weeks later when Wash leaves.

They’re sitting at the dining table eating breakfast when it’s finally said.

"I need to go." Wash says.  
"I know." North replies.

Washington leaves a week later with a bag of clothes and bus ticket in hand.

 

Theta is the last to go, but in his case he doesn’t have a choice.

AI are not supposed to last more than 4 years, any longer and they go rampant. Studies have shown that fragments barely make it past two. Theta only lasts a year.

It takes three seizures for North to realise Theta is causing them, another five for him to accept that there is nothing he can do to stop the rampancy, and a final one before he gathers enough strength to say goodbye and pull the AI for the last time.

 

North curses himself for a lot of things.

He curses himself for being optimistic when it should have been obvious that he was only one holding onto their relationship. He curses himself for not being able to let go when he should’ve. 

But most importantly he curses himself for not realising that Agent Washington died the moment Epsilon was implanted. Because when North finally realises this, he’s staring into the face of The Meta with nothing else to lose.


End file.
